What's Stuff?

So I bagged everything my ex got me into a bag the day he dumped me and shoved it into a dark corner of my closet. It wasn't my first time at the rodeo; I know looking at them would hurt. A sad reminder of times together with him, celebrating something.

So it's been over two months. It's been hard deciding what to do with these things.

Whatever my choice may be, it was supposed to be easier than deciding what I want with my ex in the future. I mean, these were just things. They had no feelings I should consider. I wasn't as attached with them as I was to my ex once upon a time. They meant a lot less than he ever did.

So why was I still hanging onto them?

This weekend I decided I would donate them. The thought passed to take them to Huntington Beach and have myself a bondfire, but the things weren't bad. Maybe someone could find some joy out of these items.

One item in particular I saved from the cull. It was a pretty nice figurine of a videogame character I liked a lot. My justification is that I had a LOT more history with that character than I did with the ex, so I could still enjoy this item.

Everything else was in the bag, ready to go.

I hedged on a cute Pikachu plushie he got me awhile ago, for the first Christmas I spent with him and his family. He said he picked out multiple listings to make sure he found one that was not a knock off and looked nice. I still have a pic of me with the plushie somewhere on facebook.

I have a lot of fondness for that plush. We had good times, I think it was cute. On the other hand, it also brought a lot of pain looking at it, seeing how wrong the relationship went compared to the day I got it. I was both happy and sad about holding it. I was unsure if that would ever change.

In the end, it went in with the bags I dropped off with the goodwill donation box. I cried a little as I walked down the stairs from the church parking lot that had the donation box. I couldn't turn back. This was the right thing. It still hurt.

Before I made the final decision to include the Pikachu in the donation bag, I thought about how similarly I thought about my ex. I still thought he was cute, we had happy memories, I'm sure we could have fun as friends since we have so much in common, yet I don't know if I can ever look at him again without some amount of sadness being there all the time. I'm not sure if I want watered down version of friendship that would always be somewhat depressing.

Pikachu went into the bag. What do I do with ex?

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