Wut's Up?

So lots of crap has happened since the last post. A global pandemic roared into my life last March and changed everything. In many ways it meant my life's been on a weird hold for nearly an entire year.

Today is a day of note since it's been 2 years since the breakup that started this blog. They say it takes half the time you dated someone for you to get over them, so this should be the big day! In most ways it's stopped negatively impacting my life... though I find myself still thinking about how the apathetic treatment towards the end of our relationship and the day of the breakup hurts when I'm on long drives. 

I was really hoping for a much more definitive *snap* of the bad feelings so I can just get on with whatever happens next, or be able to think back on what happened and just treat it as a lessons learned and not have it sting. 

It's weird because when I was most recently confronted with the possibility I might run into him, I made the choices to avoid him. I don't think it'll be good to see him, but I'm probably closer to feeling nothing about seeing him. That's some progress, I guess. 

I've come to accept that the things I've identified were wrong with the relationship and our incompatible annoyances are not just excuses to get over him, but really they are solid reasons why the relationship failed. This has made it easier to tell myself that no, we don't belong together. The sad part is that some of those reasons make me wonder if we would even make good friends, which is kind of sobering when I think about how much time I invested in this failed relationship. It feels bad to have spent so much time with someone but not even sure if you'd make good friends.

I've come a long way these past two years with coming to terms about the demise of this relationship, but I guess it was still wishful thinking to have thought this day would come and things would just click into place and he'd be relegated with most of my exes in the "oh yeah, that was a thing" part of my memories.