Wut Greetings?

I'm enraged. 

I was out to dinner with a mutual friend of my ex's. I value her friendship and I told her I wanted to be friends if she was up to it, no matter what went down with my ex (they were friends first). She's a cool person and we have a lot in common. Even before the breakup, she and I hung out and went places together. I valued her friendship, not for some gateway back to my ex or whatever. 

So I'm at dinner with her and she mentioned the ex in passing about some topic that came up. No big deal, I treat it just as if she brought up whoever in the course of conversation and don't act any differently, because it really felt fine.  I'm not going to hear his name and shatter. Maybe like a month ago, but not now. She still carpools with him and is friends with him and I have no feelings one way or another about that. I respect her enough to accept that she doesn't have to sensor what she says about her life, her friends, etc. 

Then she brought him up again discussing a good curry place that he mentioned in Irvine.  Again, treating it no different like any other person she knows brought it up, naturally I started looking for the place on Yelp, because I'm always up for finding cool new places to eat.

She proceeds to text him and informed me he confirmed the name of the place.  Okay, that was a bit weird. I don't know how I feel being a part of this conversation, but again, they're friends. It's fine.

Then she tells me he "says hi."

I went business neutral which is not normal considering I'm at dinner with a good friend, because this was not normal to me. I respond with "Okay." I don't know what else I was supposed to say to this. I have no idea what face I was making, but I was trying to keep things neutral since things felt off to me, so I continued eating my ramen and there was some silence. We then kept talking other food related topics. I'm back to normal now. 

After dinner I said goodbye to the friend after we talked about a future convention we were going to go to. Things were still cool with us. 

After leaving the friend, I went to the grocery store next door to pick up some items I needed. While pushing the cart around the store, I have my hands clasped together really tightly and just thought about how super pissed off I am. Several bullets of thoughts ran through my mind as I rolled the cart through the store include: 
  • That's the best you can come up with?! "Hi?"  
  • WTF you delivered the first thing you'd said to me in nearly 3 months through a friend?
  • You didn't have the guts to talk to me directly?
  • Or I'm so unimportant to you now that all you say to me is a one word greeting made in passing during a question about a curry restaurant a mutual friend asked? 
  • FUCK. YOU. FUCKER.
I'm not saying they're all rational thoughts or whatever, but I was pissed. I'm still pissed. Enraged. 

I'm still not sure I even want to be friends with this dude, and he's acting like I'm a rando friend he can send greetings to through a mutual friend like we have no meaningful history of any kind. The callous casualness of it all reminds me of how he was when we were dating, and it's just not an acceptable gateway back into back into my life, as anything. 

So yeah, I'm enraged.

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